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I want a life that is so much more. It’s a struggle daily to get out of bed. What kind of life is this? A life where I’m just never happy. The shitty thing is I even feel bad that I’m not happy. I fight to care about anything these days. I keep it all […]

Numb

I feel like a shell of a person. Maybe when they see me they know inside I’m empty. Perhaps that’s why they keep their distance? Who wants someone who can barely feel? 29 years and you’d think by now this numbness wouldn’t feel so raw. There is an aching inside. There is a yearning for […]

I feel so undone today, like a roll of yarn.  Unraveling, trying to get to the center of meaning.  I feel so hidden, like a treasure that just wasn’t worth the effort to find.  A giant X marks the spot, but there is no one around to dig me out of this.  I am buried, […]

Slow burn

You awakened in me a love that I had never known. I am uncertain, but longing to explore. I come undone with one smoldering glance. That look in your eyes like I’m the only one you’ve ever wanted. We are a slow burning fuse leading to an explosive firework.  

Today everything feels like way too much.  I’m overwhelmed by the smallest of tasks.  I literally just told myself I needed to do this thing, then immediately forgot what I said I needed to do.  I feel like one small thing will break the damn inside me and the tears will start bursting out.  All […]

I keep hoping that someone out there would actually care.  But, seems it’s just me against this.  I don’t know how to just keep pushing through this.  I want to just give up.

April 1

I’m feeling terrible today. My depression is at an all time high and I literally feel like I have no one to turn to. Sure, it may be the depression speaking to my insecurities, but I’ve had friends turn away from me because they got tired of hearing the same things from me when I’m […]